Not a really good day...

She made her decision.

She broke up with me. Not really a break up though, because she never told me that she loves me, never... (I told her those words multiple times, ironically). We had a great time together, at least I thought so. I took her to lot of places around this chaotic city of Hanoi, for food and for fun. Although we knew each other for years, things just started since last year. I came home to visit my aunt as she had a stroke and was very ill. She saw me in the bus returning to Hanoi, I did not see her though but because she texted me so I knew she was there. I did not meet her that day but we began to chat alot anyways.

Things had been going so well since last Lunar New Year, she came visit my house and met my parents. Then I went to her aunt's party and I had some drinks with her big family, including her father. I even sang some karaoke with her parents, I was so drunk at the moment. She then took me for a coffee to recover from alcohol. I was so tired that I slept all the morning after, but I was happy.

After that we went for dating a lot, she even took me to visit her grandmother and meet her friends. She cooked lunch for me at my own house, especially she helped me prepare for my older brother's memorial day only several days ago. Despite she did not let me hold her hand on public, I thought she would choose me eventually. But I was wrong, so fucking wrong.

She broke up with me today.

I had no idea why she did so. When she told me not to text her anymore, I was so confused. I did not know what the heck she was thinking. Four days ago she said she went home. I was like: WHAT??? She did not tell me anything about that, and all of sudden, she was in her hometown. I was thinking of something not right just happened. I tried to text her and call her, but she did not answer. Yesterday, she told me that she will meet me for a talk when she returns to Hanoi. And today is the bad day.

We met at a lake near her place to have dinner just beside the lake. I asked her the reason why she wants to breakup with me, she refused to say at first, but I made her say eventually. She went home to see some other guy the other day. She told me that her parents want her to meet the guy. I did not know that I should believe her or not. But the reason is clear now. She is seeing some guy.

I was out.

I stayed at the lake for some more time, staring at the lake, then I returned home. I switched my phone to airplane mode, had a hot shower. I let myself screaming while showering. She never loved me, I am just one of the guys she could choose. And I am not the one she chooses. Sadly.

That's end of a story. I will think more carefully about my future relationships, if there will be one.

It hurts, man. It's really hurts.